FOSS Struggles

Hello everyone,

Today, I need to share some of my thoughts and frustrations. If this isn't your cup of tea, feel free to check out other posts. For those sticking around, thank you for lending an ear.

Writing this post wasn't easy; it took a lot of reflection and courage to open up about these feelings.

P.S: This blog post reflects the thoughts and feelings of a passionate developer navigating the challenging world of FOSS and the struggle for financial stability. Your support and feedback are always appreciated. Now, let’s dive in.

My Frustration

Recently, I’ve been investing a lot of time and effort into my projects and contributing to FOSS (Free and Open Source Software) wherever possible. While I find this work rewarding, it’s also been increasingly frustrating. Why? Let me explain.

I spend countless hours working behind the scenes to make everyone’s life easier. While there are a few of you who go above and beyond to support my work, and I am incredibly grateful for that, it’s disheartening to see so little engagement overall. Feedback is crucial for improvement, and without issue reports or suggestions, it's challenging to know if I’m making a real impact.

Seeking Purpose

Initially, I embarked on this journey for fun and to learn new things. However, lately, I’ve been questioning the purpose behind my efforts. It feels like I’m stuck in a cycle of constant work with little to show for it. This isn’t about blaming anyone; it’s about seeking the motivation to keep going.

Monetization Attempts

As my financial situation became more strained, I reluctantly turned to monetization. Many advised me to turn my passion into a viable source of income. So, I tried implementing a "pay what you can" model, hoping it would help sustain my work. However, this didn’t go as planned.

The FOSS community, known for its spirit of freedom, often struggles with the concept of financial support for free software. It’s a complex issue, and while some have been supportive, overall, the response hasn’t been enough to make a significant difference.

Health Concerns

On top of these challenges, I have been dealing with significant health issues. Most notably, I have severe dental problems that require a full set of dentures. This isn’t cheap, and without stable income, it’s been impossible to address. These health issues have affected my confidence and my ability to engage publicly, adding another layer of difficulty to my situation. Health must come before everything else, including fun and passion projects.

Mental Health Struggles

The stress from these financial and health challenges has also taken a toll on my mental health. I've been experiencing frequent anxiety and panic attacks, and the constant pressure has led to a deep sense of depression. The overwhelming silence and lack of engagement have exacerbated these feelings, making it even harder to stay motivated and productive.

The Way Forward

Given these circumstances, I’m focusing more on forums and this blog. Writing provides a creative outlet that isn’t constrained by algorithms or view counts. I’ll continue to work on my current projects, primarily for my own needs, but I might keep some future creations private until I can find a sustainable way to share them.

My main priority now is finding a stable job that can support my financial needs. If and when I achieve that stability, I plan to return to my passion projects with renewed energy and many new ideas.

Closing Thoughts

I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to those of you who continue to support my work. Your appreciation means the world to me and keeps me going even when things get tough.

For now, I need to prioritize my well-being and financial stability. Once those are in place, I’ll be back with future projects. Right now, I’m dealing with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks due to my job situation and need time to recover.

Thank you for understanding and supporting me through this journey.